I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits. I really hope because it has been a while since we last made contact. And since we have never had any common friends that we both stayed in touch with, it is difficult to get information about your well being. It would be nice to hear from you sometime in the near future.
You would be wondering why I am writing you a letter now; Why after such a long time from the moment when a letter like this could have salvaged enough of our relationship to help us build something more out of it rather than the miserable ending it got that it did not deserve. The answer to that question is neither simple for me to comprehend nor easy for me to pen down. Suffice it to say that if by the end of this letter you are able to gauge my reason behind writing this letter than it would be a victory for both of us.
Do not think that I am writing this to somehow earn back your favor and to get back with you. I am definitely not trying to woo you, again. Though that wouldn’t be a bad side-effect. I am writing this because I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Past couple of months to be precise. Not all good, not all bad, but enough to put a man thinking that why exactly am I thinking about all this stuff past and that has nothing whatsoever to do with my future. It is not as if I see you every day and your vision makes me go through a kaleidoscope of memories moving round and round and splitting into colors of all hues. It is just that the little things in life remind me of you. Little things like the constellations on a clear night, that place that we always left for the “next time”, the loneliness in the long winter months.
You were the first true love of my life, that fact is non-debatable. And all things said and done, I don’t think I can fall in love again the way I did with you. I doubt I can feel that way again for anyone in the future. That to a certain extent is debatable. I feel I have been fortunate in having experienced this phase with you at the right time. The timing -for both of us- was perfect in hindsight. Before that we were kids and now we both have our careers and lives to focus upon. Any other time period would not have been as much fun nor could we have been as carefree as we were when together.
How things ended between us will always remain a sore point for me. Even though we both could see things approaching a dead end, yet it would have been fair and proper to end things with a more face to face interaction. Not having met for such a long time before the ax fell also added to the unfamiliarity of the situation. I feel it will be weird now whenever we meet the next time. I have imagined us accidentally meeting on a number of occasions. But I for one am not clear about the protocol to be followed in such a situation.
I never really think that how things could have been different or if should have done anything differently when I could have, because frankly that’s not really my style. And you know me too well to know that I don’t think of these things in futuristic terms either. But I definitely do think of what can be now. The thought never escapes my mind that even though the physical distances between us have shrunk, the emotional and mental ones have become quite large. I do hope this will remove some of the weirdness of our next meeting.